I just made out with a guy for $7.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
