LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
