He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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