"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
