So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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