you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
