I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
