what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
