Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
