life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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