Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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