I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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