hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
