Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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