please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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