i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
