do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Randomize
