Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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