I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
