you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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