My sheets look like a crime scene.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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