whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My liver just had a heart attack.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
