I understand Curling. That high.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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