hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
