his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
