i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
