Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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