Sober January is a disaster.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
