I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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