No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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