1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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