I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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