dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
