I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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