I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
