Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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