Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize