I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize