Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
