I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
