God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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