apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
