Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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