This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
