Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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