It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
