When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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