I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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