wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
