She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
