do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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