Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
the liver wants what the liver wants
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
