he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
