life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
