chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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