Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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