What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
