Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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