Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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