If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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