i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
