you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
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So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a fireplace last night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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