That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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