i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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